Paul's Wedding Toast for Shana and David, June 21, 1998

Welcome: Debbie and I join with Mike and Fran in welcoming all our
family and friends tonight for this wonderful celebration. Of course a
special tribute to those of you who traveled quite a distance to be with
us. We hope that you have enjoyed yourselves and have a chance to see
this wonderful city. For those of the local folks who came in from
outside 285 we also appreciate your efforts and promise to get you out
before the morning rush hour, which starts in about six hours.

Unfamiliar as I am with public speaking, and since hopefully this will be
my only opportunity to speak at my daughter's wedding, especially on a
Father’s' day, I thought I would share with you my deepest feeling about
tonight’s event...” its for the birds.” Probably better said, “it’s about the
birds.”

Professionally I am often asked about my philosophy for raising
children. This is the story that I tell new parents. When Shana was about
three years old, we put out on our deck the first of our many bird
feeders. In a short time business was booming, mostly beautiful birds
and their babies, along with the unwelcomed squirrels who have been
responsible for destroying most of our bird feeders.

Within a few months, Shana was identifying all the species of birds, and
had begun to recognize their distinctive calls. (By the way all squirrels
look basically the same and cannot be distinguished by their calls.) This
experience with birds obviously imprinted Shana with her love of wild
life and the environment. However I also' gained something very
valuable from Watching the birds who are excellent role models as parents;

No, I am not suggesting that we parents chew their chi1d’s foods
first before feeding them. Simply watch the bird parents’ behavior
when the young are trying to fly. They nurture, encourage and support
the baby God-given gift of flight. When the baby bird tries its first few
flights, it usually leads to a quick, painful meeting With the ground. The
parents are there to watch, hover, and yes to nag, until the young one 
gets it right. Eventually the young bird takes off, and you can sense
parents’ pride in their child’s accomplishment. But the most important
observation is that the parents seem to know that they no longer need to
control their chi1d’s destination.

Shana, since you were a baby bird, I mean a young child, after a few
attempts, you always got it right. From the time that I watched you walk
into Beth Jacob preschool, from the time you took your first plane trip
without us, from the time you went to study for a year in Jerusalem,
from the time I moved you into your dorm at U of PA, and tonight under
the chupa, I always knew that you would get it right.

David actually joined our family several years ago. Today’s ceremony
only formalized that relationship. He has been a wonderful addition and
other than his passion for video games, an outstanding role model for
Nate. And Shana, despite the fact that David missed one of my lectures
during his first year at Emory, I understand why you chose him as your
life partner. I am confident that both of you will grow personally and
professionally contributing to your family and your community.

So yes this Wedding is for the birds...two heautiful young and splendid
birds about to fly off together. Shana and David, remember you have
proud parents and family watching you.  We will observe and listen, and
when you fly back to your old nest, We will be there to counsel, but never to control.
God bless and have a wonderful flight.